Nelson,
In your email this morning, you mentioned about my bisexuality; my exploring sexual relationships with women as a reason that our marriage was a failure. You need to understand that this had nothing to do with creating the issues that you and I suffered -- rather, it was a symptom of a horrific problem.
You always witheld sex from me because either it was "bad" or "addictave" or you were tired or didn't feel well, or (says you) I'd done something wrong and you were not going to reward bad behaviour with sex... even when you wanted it. I confided to you in Minneapolis, in 2001, that I felt as though I could love more people and that freaked you out. You thought that I was talking about men... what I actually meant was Mark. Two months later, I met Mark for the first time.
Little did I know at the time, he felt I was a lunatic... but we talked long and hard about my unhappiness as a person. You and I had the worst fight of our entire marriage, because you were so insanely jealous of him. Mark and I talked every day at the office, and every night over dinner, museums, parks, coffee, etc. He told me about everyone he ever knew who'd had a divorce. I asked lots of questions. He suggested that I protect myself and try to emerge in one piece. After he left, in October 2001, I gave you until 1 June 2002 to change. If not, I planned on leaving you.
Through April, we fought just awful and I threatened to leave all of the time...
more to come later...
jos