Dear Nelson,
It hurt me today when you sent that email. It's like you finally saw what the hell I was trying to do. Only I'm so far past that part of my life, I'm sure we'll never pass that way again. Not together, anyways. You said that our marriage wouldn't be over unitl there was infidelity. In reality, you were unfaithful to me, with your mistress, fishing, hunting, and sometimes drinking. In reality, I was unfaithful to you with women. And now, in reality, I have been unfaithful to my marriage vows with a man.
What I can't understand is why you would forgive me all of the other crap... but you won't accept my leaving until I fuck someone else. Did you know that most marriages where infidelity occurs... they stay together? I think it's the serious lack of balls on the part of most human beings. I always told you that I would not sleep with anyone else until our marriage was over. I stuck to my part of the bargain. (the part that you didn't know, was that I waited to fall in love with this man until I told you it was over.... because I just can't and I just won't sleep with someone who I'm not in love with).
So I'm tired of your flippy-floppy acceptance of who I am... the fact that one minute you're strong, and the next minute, you're the passive loser that I knew for a decade. I think the biggest favor I've ever done you, is to leave your ass. Why? Because you're finally motivated to do something!
I always told you I found motivation attractive. I also always told you that I found your hair attractive. You chose to exhibit neither of these when we were married. It was a control scheme on your part. I hate you for that Nelson. I could have loved you right until the end. But you just couldn't (and, mind you, STILL can't) change yourself to do things my way. You're a stubborn asshole. Maybe I am too... but I'll be a stubborn asshole with a happy marriage with a man who actually loves and respects me, with my own career that my successful husband is not afraid of, and he has his own career, and we will support eachother. Those are the things that I so wanted for us. But you bailed first... so I can't wait until the day that you see that I'm happy without you. I can't wait.
--Joelle