Sometimes it's hard to believe that Josie believed for so long that she was in a good marriage. But when a good marriage is what you are striving for, it's so not a stretch to think that Josie-girl was just trying, eh?
And oh did she try: lost weight, went back to college and got her degree and gained it back, moved out of state to get a good job, lost weight again, explored her sensuality on the bi side. Ya know, she tried lots of things she always wanted to try.. but in the end it was trying things to make up for that loss of marital closeness.
It's been nearly a year now, since our girl left the Evil Nelson. She went out last night but on a breath of fresh air -- Nel never approved of her going out with friends, so she did it sparingly. Josie was really careful not to go overboard on the alcohol (and at 6AM, you'd think that she's either just getting in, or that she couldn't sleep, and number two is correct), and she danced until her feet hurt.
Josie sat in a smoke-filled club and realized three things: first, that everyone else is self-conscious too. She hated her look when she went out last night, but all the boiz said "we love your tactile fashion statement". When she smiled, the room lightened. People introduced themselves. They complimented her hairstyle. THEY DANCED WITH HER. The second thing that Jos realized was that all it takes is an open attitude from you, to get people to react positively to you. She introduced herself to "Mysterious" last night and they chatted lightly.. and they danced. Later when Mysterious left and said she'd be right back... Jos didn't think too much of it when she didn't. She never saw Miss again. But they'll always have Paris -- the song that was playing at the club. (Hot little numbah!). And number three on the realization -- Okay, okay, this was at the typical after-club hangout called What-a-burger (pronounced Water Burger). It's that when Nelson and Josie were dating, he was incredibly self-centered. One time, Josie almost broke up with him because he said he did not like himself. Ding ding ding! Josie you poor little bird. Why'd you stay with him? You tried so hard and even told Nel that you knew that he couldn't be a good lover for you unless he loved himself.
So stay away from the bad boys, Josie-girl. You got a lot going for ya, even at 6 in the morning.